Today marks seven weeks of being a family of four. It feels good to clack-click my fingers along the keys of my laptop and sip some hot coffee. In May, I didn’t write on this blog.

In May, I changed 476 diapers. Give or take 50 or so.

I tried to keep track for the month of the boxes and packages that we purchased. I didn’t actually track them change by change.

Two under two.

Two in diapers.

Two babies, one grunting, growing boy and one rowdy, summertime girl.

It will never be that many again, because he’s already so much more alert. Many times in the early days, I had to change diapers mid-feeding just to get him to finish eating.

So, more or less, we’re on the up and up and I imagine the diaper changing number will only drop from here.

I realized that I don’t write much in this public space in the initial postpartum weeks because I (rightfully) fear what I’ll say as my body oozes with hormones, teeters between bliss and anxiety, and – of course – the initial sleep deprivation. It actually has nothing to do with being “too busy” and changing lots of diapers. Because of the emotional frenzy, I chose to keep my writing private for a time.

I used to think that I was the only person who felt this way about the first weeks post-baby, but time and time again, when I speak to another woman her thoughts mirror mine. Of course, there’s delight in the beautiful baby and awe at the miracle of what’s just happened. (We all have to add that, lest we sound ungrateful and unhappy.)

But, there’s also a host of physical discomforts and recovery, non-sensical emotional surges and surprising loneliness. It can sneak up on a person.

My last postpartum experience was terrible, mostly because of the weather. Although this one was just as trying, it was 100% better. Tomorrow, I’ll post what we did differently to make things go so much smoother. Hopefully, it will help someone else out there have a better experience, too!